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The Hidden Power of Silence: How Financial Shame Keeps Us Small

October 16, 202411 min read

Break Free from the Shadows of Shame and Embrace Personal Transformation through Authentic Living and Shadow Work

Mary sat at her kitchen table, staring blankly at the stack of bills she couldn’t bring herself to open. She had done this every night for weeks—shuffling the papers around, sipping her coffee, and pretending everything was fine. On the outside, Mary appeared to have it all together. She was the kind of woman who held her head high, smiled politely, and never let anyone see how much she was struggling. But inside? Inside, she felt like she was drowning in shame, fear, and an overwhelming sense of failure.

Every night, the same questions circled in her mind: How did I get here? How could I have let this happen? The shame felt like a weight pressing down on her chest, and the worst part was, she couldn’t tell anyone about it. She couldn’t bear the thought of people knowing she wasn’t as successful or as stable as she pretended to be. So, she stayed silent, keeping her struggles locked inside.

But what Mary didn’t realize was that this silence, this refusal to speak her truth, was slowly suffocating her. By hiding her financial stress, by pretending everything was fine, she was living a life in the shadows, disconnected from her true self and from any real chance of growth or personal transformation.

The Damage of Silence and Shame

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There’s a kind of prison we create for ourselves when we don’t talk about money. When we feel ashamed, overwhelmed, or stuck in financial fear, it’s as if we’re locked behind invisible bars, unable to move forward, unable to breathe freely. We carry the weight of silence, telling ourselves we should have it all figured out by now—but that silence only deepens the shame, making us feel more alone than ever.

I remember a client who once described the experience of not being able to talk about her money struggles as living in a cage. On the outside, she appeared fine—strong, capable, always smiling. But on the inside, she was weighed down by the constant anxiety of bills, uncertainty, and the quiet desperation that comes from not being able to share the truth of what she was going through. Her creativity was stifled, her joy muted. She felt like she wasn’t living as herself, but as a diminished version of who she truly was.

This is what financial silence does to us. It compromises our sovereignty—our ability to stand in our own power. When we don’t address the shadows around money, we lose touch with our essential life force, the very energy that fuels our creativity, our vibrancy, and our ability to connect with others and ourselves. It becomes impossible to live fully when we’re constantly carrying the weight of unspoken shame and unresolved financial burdens. We become fragmented, pulled away from our true selves, living a life that feels muted, incomplete.

But there’s a way out.

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Mary’s story resonates with so many of us. Whether it’s financial shame, emotional struggles, or any other deeply personal challenge, we often choose to stay quiet, hoping the issue will resolve itself or that we can manage it on our own. But the truth is, when we refuse to talk about our struggles, we stunt our spiritual growth and stay trapped in cycles of pain, isolation, and self-consciousness.

Shame thrives in silence. It tells us that we’re not enough, that our struggles define our worth, and that if anyone knew the truth about what we’re going through, they would see us differently—less capable, less worthy, less deserving of love or respect. So, we keep it hidden. We tuck our struggles away in the darkest corners of our minds and carry on as though everything is fine, when in reality, we are living small, contracted lives.

And here’s the thing: our minds and bodies do this to protect us. The instinct to hide is our inner defense mechanism trying to shield us from judgment, rejection, or embarrassment. It’s a survival tactic, meant to keep us safe from harm. But this protection comes at a cost. 

When we hide, we also hide from the opportunity to heal, to grow, and to step into the fullness of our lives. We stay stuck in the shadows, avoiding the very thing that could lead us to personal transformation and authentic living.

When we break the silence around money, something shifts. It’s not just about financial freedom—it’s about reclaiming personal sovereignty. By facing the shadows, the hidden fears and insecurities that keep us trapped, we open the door to deeper healing. Shadow work allows us to look directly at the parts of ourselves we’ve been afraid to acknowledge and frees us to step into our full power.

In this process of breaking free, we regain a sense of clarity and inner peace. We can reconnect to our creative flow and the natural energy that animates our lives. We recover ourselves—our true, vibrant, authentic selves.

The Ways We Hide

The feeling of shame around money and how get out of hiding

Hiding doesn’t always look like silence. Sometimes it takes other forms, but the result is the same—we shrink ourselves, avoiding the hard conversations, the vulnerability, the potential for rejection. Here are some of the most common ways we hide:

  • Avoidance: Like Mary, we might avoid the problem altogether, telling ourselves we’ll deal with it later, that it’s not as bad as it seems, or that we can handle it on our own. But avoidance only delays the inevitable. It keeps the issue simmering beneath the surface, festering and growing until it can no longer be ignored.

  • Denial: Denial is another common way we hide from our pain. We convince ourselves that the situation isn’t really that bad, or we downplay our struggles to make them feel more manageable. Denial allows us to maintain the illusion of control, but it also keeps us stuck in the same patterns, unable to make real progress.

  • Perfectionism: We tell ourselves that if we can’t fix the problem perfectly, we shouldn’t even try. Perfectionism is a sneaky way of avoiding vulnerability—it allows us to avoid failure by never taking a real step forward. But in the end, it only reinforces our fears and keeps us in the same contracted space.

  • Overcompensation: Sometimes we try to overcompensate for our struggles by pretending we have it all together, by appearing more successful, more confident, or more in control than we actually feel. We overwork ourselves, strive for external validation, and avoid admitting that we need help.

  • Rationalization: We create reasons for why things are the way they are, explaining away our challenges with excuses that seem logical on the surface but are really just ways of protecting ourselves from facing the truth.

  • Isolation: Shame often leads to isolation. We pull away from others, convinced that no one else could possibly understand what we’re going through, or that we’ll be judged if we share our struggles. This isolation only deepens the shame, creating a vicious cycle that is hard to break.

Each of these forms of hiding is our insides trying to protect us. But in reality, they are keeping us small, contracted, and disconnected from our true selves.

Staying in the Shadows: The Cost of Silence

When we refuse to talk about our struggles—whether they’re financial, emotional, or spiritual—we cut ourselves off from growth. We stay in the shadows, where shame thrives and personal transformation becomes impossible. It’s like living in a room with the blinds drawn—there’s light outside, but we can’t see it because we’re too afraid to pull back the curtain.

The longer we stay silent, the more disconnected we become from our essential life force—the energy that fuels our creativity, our passion, and our sense of purpose. We live a life muted, half-awake, unable to fully step into our potential. This is where shadow work becomes essential.

Shadow Work: Confronting What We Hide

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Shadow work is the process of bringing those hidden parts of ourselves—the fears, the insecurities, the shame—into the light. It’s about acknowledging the aspects of ourselves we’d rather ignore or deny and allowing ourselves to see them clearly without judgment. Only then can we begin to heal, to shift our mindset, and to step into the fullness of our lives.

When we refuse to face the shadows, we continue living in fear, avoiding the discomfort of vulnerability. But when we do the work—when we are brave enough to confront what we’ve been hiding—we open the door to spiritual growth and personal transformation.

Shadow work is not easy. It requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. But the rewards are profound. By bringing our shadows into the light, we free ourselves from the weight of shame and begin to live in alignment with our true selves. We reclaim our creative flow, reconnect with our authentic living, and experience life with a new sense of freedom and purpose.

Healing the Shadows: Steps Toward Personal Transformation

Financial Freedom for Women. How to get off the paycheck by paycheck hamster wheel

If you’re ready to break the silence, to confront the shadows, and to step into a life of personal transformation, here are some steps to begin your journey:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step is simply acknowledging that you’re struggling. Be honest with yourself about what you’ve been avoiding or denying. This can be uncomfortable, but it’s a crucial part of the process.

  2. Talk About It: Find someone you trust—an accountability partner, a therapist, or a close friend—and open up about what you’re going through. Speaking your truth, even if it’s difficult, is a powerful way to release the shame and begin healing.

  3. Start Small: If talking about your struggles feels overwhelming, start small. You don’t have to share everything at once. Take one step at a time, gradually building your comfort with vulnerability.

  4. Do the Shadow Work: Explore the areas of your life where you’ve been hiding or avoiding. What fears are keeping you stuck? What beliefs about yourself are holding you back? Doing this inner work will help you shift your mindset and open the door to personal transformation.

  5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Remember that hiding is a defense mechanism meant to protect you, and it’s okay to feel vulnerable. But know that by facing your fears, you are reclaiming your power and stepping into a more authentic, fulfilling life.

  6. Shift Your Mindset: Begin to challenge the beliefs that have kept you in the shadows. Replace thoughts of “I’m not enough” with affirmations of worthiness and abundance. This shift in mindset will help you break free from the old patterns that have kept you small.

  7. Embrace Your Personal Sovereignty: This journey isn’t just about financial freedom or emotional healing—it’s about reclaiming your personal sovereignty. By doing the work, you are taking ownership of your life, your choices, and your growth. You are stepping into your power.

The Gift in the Struggle

Whatever you are going through, know this: there is a gift in it. The pain, the shame, the fear—it’s all here to teach you something, to show you where you need to grow and how you can transform. By facing it head-on, you open the door to a deeper sense of self-awareness, spiritual growth, and personal transformation.

The journey may be challenging, but it’s also one of the most profound opportunities for growth. Be brave. Be willing to sit with the discomfort, to confront the shadows, and to step into your power. On the other side of this work is a life that feels more free, more authentic, and more aligned with who you truly are.

Your Turn

As you reflect on your own journey, remember Mary’s story. She, like many of us, believed that staying silent about her financial struggles would protect her—keep her safe from judgment, rejection, and failure. But what Mary didn’t realize was that silence wasn’t her protector; it was her captor. It kept her small, isolated, and disconnected from the life she was meant to live.

When Mary finally decided to open up, to speak her truth, she began to shift her mindset. She no longer carried the weight of shame in silence. Through shadow work, she confronted the fears that had been holding her back. She took the brave steps toward reclaiming her personal sovereignty, toward living authentically, and toward embracing her creative flow.

Now, it’s your turn. What have you been hiding? What shadows are keeping you from stepping into the fullness of who you are? Remember, the silence that feels like protection is actually keeping you small. It’s time to break free, to embrace your true self, and to live with purpose, passion, and freedom—from the inside out.

Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. There’s a community of support waiting for you as you take the brave steps toward authentic living and personal transformation.

Engaging Questions for Reflection:

  1. In what areas of your life have you been hiding or avoiding difficult conversations?

  2. How has shame, especially around money, affected your sense of self-worth or personal growth?

  3. What steps can you take today to begin breaking the silence and confronting your shadows?

  4. How would your life change if you allowed yourself to step fully into your power and personal sovereignty?

If this resonates with you, if you’ve been living in silence, feeling the weight of financial shame, know that you’re not alone. This journey is about more than money—it’s about reclaiming your voice, your power, and your freedom from the inside out.

Join me as we dive deeper into this topic in my full post, where we explore the healing power of breaking financial silence and how shadow work can help you reconnect to your true self. You deserve to feel free—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Let’s walk this path together.

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Evelyn Foreman, MDiv

Evelyn Foreman, M.Div., is transpersonal growth and development mentor. Rev. Evelyn is an ordained Unity Minister and seasoned spiritual guide with a profound commitment to presence, purpose, and practice. Her journey began uniquely as a third-world refugee, influenced deeply by her mother’s bold decision to start anew in her 40s. Evelyn's path took a radical turn post-9/11, propelling her from the corporate heights in New York City to the tranquil shores of Maui. Here, she embraced yoga, mindfulness, and the power of stillness, catalyzing a deep transformation within. A former host of the spiritual radio show "The Call of Spirit: Tune In to Possibility," Evelyn converses with global individuals who've embraced their authentic selves. She holds a Master of Divinity from Unity Institute & Seminary and a Bachelor of Science in International Business, Marketing, & Economics. Living her teachings, Evelyn, a mother of two, continually explores the spiritual essence of existence, underlining the unbreakable connection between our personal journey and the universal story of love and unity. Reverend Evelyn and her partners may also be found doing work at Path of Presence (www.PathofPresence.com) and Legacy Love Project (LegacyLoveProject.com).

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